The smell of a the land of a home....
I rolled down the windows of my car as I took the turn in the road to the right. The summer smell of this street had not changed. Cut Grass, and a unique combination of trees and a reservoir near by. There was a knot in my stomach, and my hands were shaking before I rolled the windows down, but the air rushed back a thousand days of Porter and I playing on home turf, such great memories erased any feelings I had about being "excommunicated" from my family for 12 years.
The long driveway was filled with cars I did not recognize. The trees were much larger than I remember but I was home. I spent all car ride from Cincinnati to Lexington trying to come up with something to write in my Aunts birthday card. I wanted to say a thousand words but only came up with one lame sentence saying thanks while parked in the driveway. Card in hand and jewelry commissioned by Robin and Malia I walked into the house. It wasn't exactly the same house as everything since my Grandparents deaths had been removed or sold, but there were still a few pictures that almost made me lose it before ever seeing anyone. My grandma in her WASP uniform, and a painting of Granddad with his silver hair still hung in the old formal dining room. The hallway (still had wood that creaked) was a different story. A montage of photos had been placed in matching frames and told a happy looking story of three girls and their family. I didn't see me but I didn't expect to. Gathering myself I walked to the sound of people out on the old slate deck. I was welcomed with warm hearts. I was hugged, hands came out to shake, and smiles of faces that were older but had not changed. They were my family, they loved me and I am so grateful for it. This love and kindness I have missed so much, plus I got some old photos and bought an old hammer of my grand dads, from the very sparse remnants of Billy-Bob's life in jewelry. Still I walked in the basement I could feel Granddads energy, the smell of ceramics and lapidary still hung in the air.
Nancy (my mommy dearest) isolated me through horrible lies, and took away twelve years of love from people I loved, but she couldn't destroy it. I'm not going to forgive her greed and her lies, but the pain is gone now. Thank you Robin, Mac, George, Malia, Chuck, and mostly Mary Gail for swallowing any pride you might have had, stepping up to the matriarchal plate and going to bat for me. I love you.