Pierson's birthday was yesterday and he chose Thai for his birthday dinner. The restaurant had a large projection television. Thrown up on the wall was a harmless Food Network show with Rachael Ray, who was cooking up delightful dishes with only one problem. She might have washed her hands but the jewelry she was wearing acted like a ladle scooping from a Petri dish transferring everything she did in her life into the food. My imagination of long nights with her husband or boyfriend, or girlfriend all went into the food she made. All of the juicy, juices that could be held by capillary action in between her stone and prongs transferred easily all over the wet lettuce she grabbed to make a wonderful PFLT sandwich (Portabella, feces, lettuce, and tomato).
Don't think you're a gross person? Take a look at the ring on your hand, the studs you never take out, the back side of that watch you've worn for years, and then lick that scum with your tongue. Don't want to do it, then it's time you have your jewelry professionally cleaned.